Not What I Expected

I used to think I knew everything…just ask my parents. There was absolutely nothing that in my mind that I didn’t already know. The older I got the more I understand that I knew very little.

It was something I used to pride myself on that I knew exactly what I was going to do with my life. I would graduate with top marks, get into my number one choice college, work my hardest so that I could get into a top Occupational Therapy program.

Well lets take a look at how those plans panned out.

I did do very well in high school- I was in almost every advance class I could take (I struggled with maths) and got good grades. I graduated high school with honors and by mid year I found out that I was accepted to the only college I applied to (I knew where I wanted to go so I didn’t see the point in applying other places.) So far so good.

Fast forward to my first semester of college in Alabama and I wasn’t doing so hot. Science was my subject, I loved learning about the human body and was really interested in pursuing a career in the medical field so I decided to major in Exercise Science. The only problem was the classes I was failing were all science classes…how in the world could that have happened??? I studied so much but never seemed to reap the benefits of the hours of pouring over class notes. My confidence was wavering.

After pushing for two years to do better I decided this college was not for me. I sometimes feel I was running away from adversity and I maybe should have tried to stick it out, but like anything we abandon we will never know what could have come. I moved back to Florida and went to a state school. Bonus for my parents it was way less expensive than the private out of state school I had attended for two years.

Immediately I saw my grades improve- it made me wonder if I just wasn’t as all knowing as I thought I had been because I once swore I would never go to university in the state of Florida. I was happy at school which was a huge change for me I even enjoyed my classes. I didn’t find as many amazing friends in this new town as I did in Alabama but I kept reminding myself of the goal- OT school.

By the time graduation came I was thrilled to finally be done with my undergraduate degree. Problem was my grades really suffered for the first two years and I did not graduate with high enough scores to get into a prestigious Occupational Therapy program.

I decided to take some time off from school. I would work and apply for OT programs I qualified for and give my brain a much needed rest. The longer I was out of school the less I knew where my life was going. ME! I knew everything so why was my life not where I knew it would be?

Of course contemplating this pushed me into the decision I made to move to Australia for a year and if you have been following this blog you know how impactful that decision has been. I wouldn’t trade what has become of my life for any OT program in the world, but sometimes I do feel like I failed. I failed at fulfilling my dream.

This is not supposed to be a story about how I wish my life had turned out-NOT AT ALL! It is a story about how God lead me to be where I was meant to be not where I wanted to be. In failing to become an OT I found something I never knew I was so passionate about, travel.

I have felt more fulfillment from my times of travel than I ever did in a science class. I guess it just took me a while to see it. I have been blessed since I was young to travel with my grandparents and see life in other places. See how people can get by with so little yet still have a smile on their face and joy in their hearts. I used to think to be impactful I needed to help someone in a physical way, but maybe that isn’t my gift. I hope in reading this it gives you hope that even if you don’t know where your life is going at the moment there will be a time that comes when the lightbulb comes on and you see where you can make a difference, and maybe like you I am still figuring that out.

I am still learning how to best use the talents that I have. This blog has helped me realize at least one of those, writing. I still need Alex to edit because I care so little about grammar and sentence structure- I care more about getting a thought or feeling from my brain onto a page, but I am trying to hone my new craft.

Bottom line is find what makes you feel alive- find what you feel passionate about and what make you want to push to be better. It may not be what you think it is initially, but we each have special talents and we each matter so never lose hope.

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