I find it strange that I both crave seeking the unknown but also find it impossible to not know what comes next.
I want to know if it is possible to be both a planner and procrastinator at the same time. I understand these two things contradict each other but that is literally how I feel. I am desperately trying to find where I fit in here in Australia (primarily with work) but I find it hard to completely commit myself to a career here when I feel the pull of family and familiar back in the United States. I want to plan at this point but because I cannot predict the future and my life is changing constantly I don’t know where to start. This makes me want to procrastinate because committing myself to something here makes my family and friends back home seem so much further away.
I guess I find it hard to settle my thoughts for work on one particular thing since so many things peak my interest. I know I need to just buckle down and do something but I feel stuck sometimes in a country I am still getting to know.
This is amplified by the fact that Alex and I are dying to do more traveling and I know that to do this I really need to start making some money for our travel fund. You see my mind is always in two places- planning and procrastinating, the inevitable.
Where is the line between living each day to its fullest and being thoughtful in planning for the future? I really would like to find that balance.
Thankfully I have two wonderful families to help me with all of these questions and concerns, they are so encouraging- I also have Alex who is always making me feel like I can do anything.
Only God knows my future, I know this, but knowing that doesn’t mean I am supposed to sit back and wait for whatever that is to be delivered to my doorstep, but it isn’t always easy to get off the comfy couch.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.